The latest in the half-century-and-counting war that will not and cannot ever be one is that unmanned narco-subs will now be booby-trapped as they make their way across the Atlantic to the European market, which sees an estimated 1,500 tons of cocaine from Latin America annually.

Per a recent Telegraph exposé, conflict analysts believe this is in direct response to recent U.S. military strikes on vessels—and perhaps in some cases humble commercial fisherfolk—allegedly trafficking drugs by sea.

The lightweight subs, reportedly built in “clandestine shipyards along the Colombian coastline and camouflaged to avoid detection,” are naturally more successful being sub-surface voyagers. But they still get blown up, too. Lightweight as they may be, they’re still designed to carry up to nine tons of cocaine on a single voyage, worth something like $800m USD.

The subs are programmed to detonate upon unwanted contact, blowing INTERPOL—or whomever—to smithereens. Nobody ever said the drug trade, or battling it, wasn’t messy business with heavy casualties.

Once the subs near the coast of Spain, generally, powerboats are sent out to retrieve them, likely after their detonation devices are deprogrammed, one can only imagine.

And in case you’re wondering how this fancy-schmancy network of narco-subs stays on line, look no further than Elon Musk’s Starlink satellite system, naturally, which, again per the Telegraph, “has been adopted by cartels for use on narco-subs, allowing the vessels to follow a planned route, and respond to incoming obstacles without the need of crew.”

Seeking high-end intelligence abroad, Colombian gangs reportedly plan to tap black-market engineers adept at designing, building, and launching vessels with self-navigating technology from the United Arab Emirates, according to police intelligence.

The Colombian navy itself, in an intelligence report, warns of the self-detonating explosives, likely by way of remote control.

Less loss of cartel members, more threats to authorities, and more cocaine for one and all in Europe. And of course, the fewer cartel members authorities capture, the less intelligence can be leaked.

So how much more cocaine will flood the European market in years to come? That may depend on how many offensive drones Spain, and greater Europe, and perhaps other interested parties, can scramble together. In the meantime, keep your noses up in lineups along the Western European front. So to speak.

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