Whether we like to admit it or not, there’s an undeniable element of snowboarding that overlooks talent on a board altogether and focuses fully on fashion. You’ve probably heard the old saying, “If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good. If you play good, they pay good.” So if you were going to try to deny me this simple truth, the proof is in the saying. And quite frankly, it’s one of my favorite parts of the winter, judging everybody’s outfits on the mountain. It’s fun for me.
To think that this sentiment ends once the seasons change, though, would be an oversight. I’ve still got my eyes on you, snowboarders, but this time, it’s on the golf course. Listen, I’m a hater of golf. Mostly just because I think it’s a funny thing to hate on due to the fact that people love it so much. Also, though, you’re out there in the heat doing the worlds slowest activity and the ball never even gets close to the hole. Never even close! It’s just a way to get frustrated. Spending your limited days in the summer sun getting frustrated? Couldn’t be me.
The good part for me is that since the only movements you really have to make are swinging your arms and maybe walking a bit, there’s ample opportunity to cut it up with the wardrobe. I’ve decided to take some of Golfing’s fondest snowboarders and rate their outfits on the greens. I added snowboard photos for reference – but I’m judging only the golf fits today.
(And let me be so honest, this is a fully biased outfit critique. I tend to fancy the vintage grandpa look over the jock boy style. A Chubbs Peterson over a Shooter McGavin. A John Daly over… everyone on tour right now. And I appreciate a fashion risk. And I know that this is just my opinion.)
CRAIG MCMORRIS: 6.5/10
A fashion risk it certainly is not—he looks like he’s got one baby at home and another on the way—but I will give it to him, he’s always clean. If there was one word I would use to describe Craig’s style, it would be clean. Well-groomed. Well thought-out. Safe, but unfailing. 6.5 for the boy.
MAX RAYMER: 8.6/10
Max is a personal favorite of mine. I always see him on Instagram and Snapchat running the most dripped up grandpa fits with bucket hats, trousers, sweater vests. The photo he provided is not fully indicative of this swagger (the shorts and shoes throw me off) but still, the kid looks sharp.
MADISON BLACKLEY: 3/10
I’m not outwardly offended by Madison’s fashion choices but I’m not inspired either. It’s neither here nor there for me. In fact, I already forgot I looked.
CHRIS GRENIER: 2/10
Now, I am outwardly offended by Chris’s outfit choices. He must have been going through something when he put this outfit on and then thought, “Yeah, this looks good, I should golf in this.” CAMO shorts and a navy STRIPED shirt?! With a green and yellow hat? Please no. Shoes are pretty cool though. And the thing about Chris is, he wears the clothes and doesn’t let the clothes wear him, if you know what I mean, so unfortunately he kind of always looks cool.
JOE SEXTON: 7.2/10
Joe generally impresses me with his personal style choices, and he almost nailed it with this Golf look. Here’s the thing—pattern sweater with the camo hat: fire. But what the heck is up with these New Balance shoes everyone’s got on? Are New Balances even golf shoes? And they’re…blue? If he threw on some proper black or brown footwear, he might’ve won. Also, I really hope those pants are black. I’m choosing to believe they’re black. If they are navy, immediate jail time and immediate disqualification from this competition that no one signed up for.
BRETT KULAS: 5/10
Brett’s the most legit Golfer on this circuit. I don’t know that for sure, but I’m pretty sure he works for Callaway or something, so that makes me think he’s legit. Here’s the thing. Put Brett in a lineup with the Sigmu Nu fall rush class and I wouldn’t be able to pick him out from the crowd. BASIC!
SAGE KOTSENBURG: 8.2/10
Sage strikes me as a man of detail. Notice the yellow glove. Among a world of white golf gloves, Sage runs a yellow one. And I respect that. I think a golf course is one of the only acceptable places to wear a bucket hat, so I’m led to believe that Sage is a man of taste, as well. The baggy jogger fit of the pants is a refreshing distinction from the sea of straight-legged golf pants we tend to see on today’s golf courses. Well done, Sage.
ROB ROETHLER: 7/10
I have to give Rob credit for stepping out with these pants. Looks like he’s got a thing for non-traditional camo. Maybe Rob has the confidence to rock pants like this because he is a serious Golfer. I only think this because we were both in Arizona at the same time once but we didn’t hang out because he was there for Golf. Wish I could see his shoes, probably New Balances.
KELSEY BOYER: 8/10
This look is understated, yet chic. Note the details here. The white collar, the white logos, the white glove, the shoes. The SHOES. The shoes would win if this were a shoe-only competition. So classy. Plus, we love a girly in a sporty little skirt.
WINNERS:
1st Place – Max Raymer – 8.6
2nd Place – Sage Kotsenburg – 8.2
3rd Place – Kelsey Boyer – 8
Congrats to my winners and thank you to all of my competitors in this years 2024 Golf Fashion Contest Circuit. I won’t be giving you anything for winning, but just know I love ya.
XOXO snowboarders…we’ll be watching 😉
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