Editor’s Note: Have a question for Dibi Fletcher? She’s definitely got answers. Or at least a perspective. Don’t hold back, shoot her a DM on Instagram and ask away. Here’s this week’s dispatch from the Matriarch of Radical…
Hey Dibi… I’ve spent the last forty years making art and surfing. A 26-year-old artist I know just landed a major gallery show. He’s talented and I genuinely like him. So why did hearing the news make me feel jealous? I thought that was something I would have outgrown by now. – Should Know Better
Hey Should Know Better… Age doesn’t cure envy. Recognizing it helps. You aren’t envious that something good happened to him. You’re afraid his success says something about you. It doesn’t. There’s always going to be somebody younger, more fashionable, better connected. Surfing teaches the same lesson. Eventually the kid paddling next to you is going to catch waves you can’t. Let him. His wave isn’t the one you’re waiting for. The gallery that’s investing in his show feels they have an audience for his work. You’re looking for the same type of representation, a gallerist who knows their customer base and feels that your work would sell. It’s a business, not personal as so many artists take it, so look for outlets that cater to your target audience and enjoy the journey.
Hey Dibi… People used to recognize me everywhere. Now they recognize the kid standing next to me. I hate admitting how much that bothers me. How do you become irrelevant gracefully? – Formerly Famous
Hey Formerly Famous… First, stop calling yourself irrelevant. Being less famous and being less valuable aren’t the same thing. Attention is rented. Character is owned. If you spend your later years demanding the room remember who you were, you miss the chance to discover who you are now. You’ve had the spotlight. Maybe it’s time to become the person who shines it on somebody else. There’s dignity in that and you might be pleasantly surprised at the freedom when you let Go…
Hey Dibi… I tell everyone I want honest feedback about my paintings. Then somebody gives it to me and I spend days furious. Why do ask for people’s opinions when I’m not sure I’m going to like the answer? – Everyone’s a Critic
Hey Everyone’s a Critic… Same reason surfers ask, “Did you see that wave?” We’re rarely requesting information. We’re requesting confirmation. Criticism hurts because the work isn’t just something you made. It carries a little piece of how you see yourself. Learn to separate the two. A bad painting doesn’t make you a bad artist. A terrible session doesn’t make you a bad surfer. Sometimes you suck, and that’s where a lot of growth happens. It’s not meant to crush you; it’s a springboard that pushes you forward if you allow yourself to see it. The choice is yours.
Hey Dibi… I’m in my 30s’ and I realize I judge almost every session by whether I surfed better than the people around me. I hate that about myself. When did something that was just pure stoke turn into something I had to win? – Keeping Score
Hey Keeping Score… Probably when being good at surfing became part of how you proved your worth. Competition is necessarily the enemy. Needing to win is. Try something radical. Paddle out tomorrow and don’t keep score. Give away a set wave. Surf badly go home happy. If that sounds impossible, you’ve discovered the problem.
Hey Dibi… Everyone tells young artists, “Don’t worry about success. Just make the work.” That’s easy for successful people to say. I want exhibitions. I want people to know my name. I want to make money. Does that make me less of an artist? – HUNGRY
Hey HUNGRY… No. Ambition isn’t a character defect. Pretending you don’t have it might be. Want to show. Want the money. Want the review. Work your ass off. Just don’t make the mistake of believing any of those things will answer the question underneath your ambition. Am I good enough? Applause can’t answer that permanently. That’s why people keep needing more of it.
Related: Hey Dibi: Is Commercial Surf Art Just Selling Out?
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