Planet Earth’s second most fearless usherer into the webosphere and decidedly not-so-Young-anymore Turk Jeff Bezos is out to save (part) of (one of) our great oceans once again.
Last time we had tabs on our hero, Mr. Jeffrey Bezos traveled great lengths by sea in his $500m sailing superyacht, Koru (247-foot support vessel, Abeonia, in tow), committing a charitable wad of $640,000 big ones to essentially lobbying for expanded marine protected areas (MPAs) and make a show of solidarity for the beleaguered sharks in the Pacific waters off the Americas. Sharks everywhere clasped with fins and claspers in orgiastic elation at the generosity of their savior.
Now, Bezos is really forking it over with a $25m pledge to be folded into six grants that will purportedly be doled out to “support marine protected areas in the Cook Islands, Kiribati, Papua New Guinea, Tonga and Vanuatu,” praises Forbes.
But, perhaps it’s Mrs. (Sánchez) Bezos we have to thank for this great spearheading of unprecedented environmentalism: “This summer I spent time in the Pacific, and the water was everything you’d imagine. But what I keep coming back to is the people,” said Amazon First Lady Lauren Sánchez Bezos, also vice chair of the Bezos Earth Fund, in a press release announcing the new grants. Yes, and that, too, is what the sharks love about the places they live: The creatures on land with whom they live in inherent juxtaposition.
Related: Bezos Sails $500m Superyacht to Costa Rica To Save Sharks
“Out there, the ocean isn’t just a beautiful view. It’s the road, the pantry, the backyard,” (Sánchez) Bezos expounds. Profundity abounds. Save the food stores and keep the garden clean. It all sounds simple enough, but will $25m be enough to conserve 625,000 square miles of ocean and bring relief to hundreds of thousands of simpleton fishing communities at the far reaches of the globe? Mr. and Mrs. Bezos can only kiss it goodbye with high hopes.
Even for lay folk, a $25m nut just doesn’t hit the scales like it used to. Small hospitals are built for this price. Battles—not wars—are waged with it. The second-richest person in the world purchases a pied-a-terre at this price as an afterthought.
For someone closing in on half a trillion John Wayne dollars in net worth, that’s a whopping .006%. That, folks, is some genuine and headline-gripping compassion. The average American’s wealth at Bezos’ 62 years of age is around $1m, give or take a few hundred thousand. For perspective, that’s somewhere to the tune of $6,000 out of the savings account of a hard-working, blue-collar, tax-paying American and into the coffers of jetsetting lobbyists who will absolutely without a shadow of doubt be saving critters with every last copper penny of it.
Related: Jeff Bezos Rocket Explodes Like Nuclear Bomb off Florida Coast (Video)
And yet, atop it, the mainstream media’s dyed-in-the-wool economic establishment lays a hefty pad of butter. (Almost) unbelievable. And for a healthy comparison of apples and oranges: Warren Buffett’s son, Howard Buffett, who has been left with a measly $400 or so million, has almost casually committed over $1bn to ameliorate conflict zone casualties of life, limb, and infrastructure—with no appeal to fanfare from a court of sycophants.
Differences in causes (and social conduct) aside, generating and directing more financing than one’s net worth in the name of philanthropy is a study more than a few people with plenty of money and still enough time might consider.
And while they’re at it, might they drop a few buckaroos and try their hands at saving surfing, too?
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