In today’s attention-deficit world, a bit of comedy can often do more than a tsunami of traditional reporting.
There have been thousands of articles, videos, and posts about the super El Niño and we’re not even into winter yet. Of this reporting, the sensational ones get the most clicks: big waves, coastal flooding, mega storms, and especially, million-dollar homes getting pounded by the ocean can go viral.
Anything that dives into the science of fossil fuels and climate change, will have people’s eye glazing over. Unless, of course, you can present it in a way that makes people laugh. That’s why it’s worth dropping into, No one loves you more than Exxon, aka the ‘New Exxon El Niño Commercial‘, written by Adam McKay and narrated by Woody Harrelson.
The smooth Texas drawl that we know so well from roles in shows like True Detective and films like No Country For Old Men, satirizes oil giants for their stance of non-responsibility and outright climate denial. What’s powerful is the comparisons and contrasts made throughout the dialogue, like, portraying “fat cat climate scientists” as the ones who, “rake in the dough and bang supermodels, while hardworking oil executives, corporate media types, and banking CEOs grind out a living”
We’ve been covering El Niño-related stories with regular frequency, sometimes with multiple stories a week. For surfers, it’s a mixed bag. Those of us based in the Pacific love the increased swell activity, but this one is coming with tons of costs. While the comment sections of videos where beach front homes are falling into the ocean show little sympathy, no one is happy about the continued erosion (disappearance is better word) of our beaches.
There’s much more at stake than just the beaches, too. The accompanying marine heatwave may be great for surfing in boardshorts late into the fall but it is wreaking havoc on marine ecosystems in ways we can’t yet full grasp. There’s also the human toll that comes with it all.
As explained in the video, “With a historic warming El Nino currently forming in the Central Pacific, already rising global temperatures will likely go higher than the planet has seen in hundreds of thousands of years, creating violent weather events, death, and destruction across our shared Mother Earth.”
Related: West Coast King Tides Are Coming: Here Are the Dates to Watch (Video)
The combination of this massive El Niño with a historic Kelvin wave is unprecedented — at the time of writing, some of the highest tides ever on record have hit Southern California bringing heavy flooding to many coastal towns. Trying to put a number on the cost if this El Niño is futile at this point as there is a long way to go. In about one month, on Thanksgiving, California will experience more King Tides on top of the Kelvin wave and firmly in the window of powerful winter swells. Around Christmas, it will happen again.
It’s easy to get caught up in the sensationalism of it all and, unfortunately, to feel disempowered. It’s important to remember that there are those who knowingly mislead the public and made fortunes in the process. A 2017 Harvard analysis of Exxon’s internal and public documents found a systematic discrepancy between what the company said privately and publicly about climate change, findings Exxon disputes. It’s time the oil companies start paying for the damage that has been caused and become willing partners in safeguarding our future.
It’s time the oil companies start paying for the damages that have been caused and become willing partners in safeguarding our future.
Related: More Gigantic Kelvin Waves Are Coming to California During Super El Niño
Full transcript
“We at Exxon have always been committed to the well-being of our community. And most of all, you, the customer. And now, our treasured relationship is about to be tested like never before. With an historic warming El Nino currently forming in the Central Pacific, already rising global temperatures will likely go higher than the planet has seen in hundreds of thousands of years, creating violent weather events, death, and destruction across our shared Mother Earth. And there will, of course, be a lot of finger-pointing and blame, which is why we at Exxon want to make sure you blame the correct people. Like poor immigrants and refugees. It’s a fact. Immigrants look and talk weird. So you never know if they’re asking you what time it is or planning to sex traffic your daughter. Now, on the ground.
Remember to also direct rage at those fat cat climate scientists. They rake in the dough and bang supermodels, while hardworking oil executives, corporate media types, and banking CEOs grind out a living. And if all this blaming and anger somehow still starts to point back at us, your beloved Exxon family, remember to consult with the expert. When there’s global warming, you just move to where it’s not so warm. They can explain how the greenhouse effect, something we are taught in seventh grade science, is a vast socialist Hamas conspiracy.
In fact, if it were possible, we at Exxon want to, in a gentle and loving manner, enter you from behind.
Because at the end of the day, a home can always be replaced. And so can a family pet. Even if you lose an elderly family member, just start calling a random old person, Meemaw or Pop-Pop. True Americans believe it’s during the hard times when we really see who our loved ones are. And no one loves you more than Exxon. In fact, if it were possible, we at Exxon want to, in a gentle and loving manner, enter you from behind. Exxon, are we responsible for greenhouse gases destroying your towns, homes, and lives? Why would someone who loves you as much as we do ever do that?”
Related: King Tides Pummel California’s Battered Coast as Super El Niño Surges (Video)
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